10/3/2010
I bit the bullet and stayed home last night. Didn’t go to the Iowa/Penn
St. game. Daughters #1 and #2, who also go, had a puppy sitting problem
since it was a late game. Yes, all three had a sleep over with
Grandpa. Yeah! They slept through the game except to help me eat
popcorn. I was really disappointed at bed time though. These animals
did not remember their bed assignments. Kinnick was across the bed by
the pillows. He ignored my pleas to move down to the bottom. I
dragged
him by his back feet so he was at least vertical. Barney and Max
followed me around the bed refusing to let me lay down. Had to get
rough. Once in bed, Barney retaliated by laying between my legs and Max
sat on top of my head. Nice! This lasted until 2:30 – I just couldn’t
stand it anymore. My left arm was totally numb. We got up. I got the
feeling back 15 minutes later so back to bed. Better luck, Kinnick at
the bottom, Check!, Barney & Max in my armpit fighting over the
prime turf. Barney doesn’t really care. He does it just to tease Max.
Better luck this time and we slept until our usual 5:00 am wake up time.
10/7/2010
Press Release (or something like that – anyone have a steam iron?)
Grandpa Bailey’s Spoiled Dog and Canasta Club
The
fictional Grandpa Bailey’s Spoiled Dog and Canasta Club (GBSD&CC)
is proud to announce an agreement has been reached that will
significantly affect the club’s future development. Involved in this
extensive agreement is our FIRST long term tenant at the Club, a
transportation agreement and a house-sitting and maintenance contract.
After significant negotiations between Grandpa Bailey, Kinnick, and his
owner the deal was finalized Oct. 5, 2010. A lot of give and take was
involved in reaching the agreement. We commend all parties with their
willingness in reaching an agreement.
Our club can house up to 3
family member dogs at one time. Kinnick, an 80 lb. yellow Labrador,
will be residing at the club until around Christmas time. He will have
full benefits which includes total access to the all club rooms and
grounds. He will share sleeping accommodations with Grandpa Bailey
himself.
Of major concern was the relationship between Kinnick
and the Etavirp Canasta League. Concern was voiced about the possible
disruption of play on league days. The league representatives also
expressed concern with the easy access to the nachos, dip and other
snacks for Kinnick. Wanda, last weeks high score winner, was also
concerned with Kinnick’s penchant of licking winners of the daily
prizes. It was decided that Kinnick’s access to the canasta room would
be restricted on the league days. He would be allowed access only AFTER
the league had completed play and members had left. GBSD&CC
spokesman cited several positives in allowing Kinnick post-play
access. Primarily he will be permitted to clean the floor of dropped
snacks. This will result in a significant savings in electricity as the
need to vacuum will be greatly reduced. The spokesman also stated that
this is consistent to our long term goal of “going green” at the club.
The spokesman also added that food cost for Kinnick should be reduced
on league days which will improve the clubs overall bottom line.
In
addition to the long term tenant agreement, a transportation contract
and home maintenance agreements were finalized. Details of which were
not released at this time. All agreements were said to be “firsts” for
the club. Club personnel are extremely excited with this agreement and
all of its ramifications.
TA! TA!
10/17/2010
With my return home, Kinnick commenced his long-term stay at Grandpa
Bailey’s Spoiled Dog Resort and Canasta Club. He was excited to be
saved from the Pug boys. They just don’t let him relax. Actually, Debby
the younger was the one that was saved I think.
We have one week
in the books. Kinnick, dog son of Jenny the elder, and I have spent a
lot of time one on one. We have developed a kind of bond only a yellow
Labrador and a Grandpa can achieve. It is really neat that we seem to
be on the same wave length. He understands what I am thinking AND I
understand what he is thinking. How cool is that?
The first
night, Kinnick was kind enough to introduce himself to the paper boy at
4:00 am by letting loose a “Woof” in his deepest voice. I didn’t even
have to ask or prompt him – just did it on his own. Way to go! Sleeping
has not been a problem. We had a sit down the first night and went over
the rules of the resort. In regards to sleeping, he was reminded that
his spot was in lower left corner. He has followed this rule very
nicely. I did fail to mention to him that I did not need a lick to wake
up – I can wake up on my own very nicely, thank you. I have learned
that he “expects”, no “demands”, to have his belly messaged and
scratched for a minimum of 15 minutes before getting out of bed. May
have to add spa charges.
He goes to Doggie Day Care twice a week –
Wednesday and Friday. He really looks forward to these days. He has a
bunch of cronies there that he plays with. I think they play cribbage
or something like that. I suspect that he also has a girlfriend there.
He insisted that I brush his teeth each morning before we left. Why
else would he be worried about his breath?
Yesterday, we settled
in and watched the Iowa Hawkeyes beat Michigan. Kinnick gives a “high
5” after every Iowa score. He likes his Hawkeyes. During the
commercials we talked about the upcoming elections. I think he leans
toward the liberal Democrats, me – not at all. We had completely
different opinions of the variety of political commercials. It was a
hoot. He is pretty persuasive when he wants to be.
10/19/2010
Life at the club has settled into some type of pattern already. I would
not have thought it possible. One major factor has been the departure
of the Etavirp Canasta League ladies on a bus tour. Yep, they left from
the club on Saturday morning bright and early – 9:00 am. They were
really excited. I overheard some of the ladies talking about the
schedule. Seems as though this is primarily a fall color tour to New
England. Also on the schedule, as I understand it, are several casinos
stops. Hey, bolt down the nickel slots. We will miss the ladies but
hope they take their time and enjoy.
10/22/2010
I have posted that Kinnick (Yellow Lab of Jenny the elder) has a long
term gig at the Grandpa Bailey Spoiled Dog Kennel and Canasta Club.
Over the past two weeks we have been spending a lot of time together.
He has a pretty good feel for our daily routine now and has adapted to
it with little problem.
We have had discussions on a varied list
of topics from squirrels in the back yard to the upcoming elections. He
has enlightened me on a lot of things. Like why does he have to
inspect the perimeter in the morning and again at night? What is he
really doing in the yard when his nose is down on the ground and he
zig-zags around. Seriously, can he remember that many smells and
scents? He has tried to convince me that it is his way of insuring that
we are secure from predators or interlopers. Interlopers? Where did he
pick up that term?
I have learned that he really gets ticked when
I fall into talking in ga-ga baby/puppy talk. You know phrases like-
“Oh, you’re such a good puppy” or “Oooh, do you like ear scratches?” He
points out that he is not a know-nothing puppy any longer. I just
didn’t realize this for quite a while. I was perplexed as to why he
just stood there glaring at me when I was doing the ga-ga speak.
Seemingly ignoring me or not understanding my or misbehaving. I just
didn’t get it. During one of walks on a nearby trail, he finally
enlightened me. I was shocked! I just didn’t realize what I was
doing. Since then we have had nothing but adult conversations and he is
a much happier 5 year old Lab.
Future blogs will delve into some
of our more spirited discussions. For now lets just understand that our
relationship as being on a higher plane.
10/26/2010
Many of you know the Grandpa Bailey Spoiled Dog Kennel and Canasta
Club has taken on Kinnick as a long term border. Well, what is not
known too well is that our neighbor behind us has 3 really obnoxious
female dogs. They feel they are empowered to be the neighborhood watch
dogs. They patrol every inch of their fence perimeter searching for
trespassers. They bark at EVERYTHING! They even bark if they see us
looking out a window. Good Grief. Also, my good neighbor beside me,
Mr. Macblue, is now sitting for 3 dogs, also female. I am becoming
concerned about our neighborhood becoming overpopulated with dogs.
Solid waste disposal could become an issue plus the liquid waste could
begin leaching into the ground water. We could be on the cusp of a much
larger problem.
Anyway, the other night I had not only Kinnick
but the pugs, Barney & Max. Max to say the least is an instigator.
He is the first to bark at another dog and keeps yapping until they get
riled up. He then steps way back and allows Barney or Kinnick to do the
heavy work. As usual, Max began the fracas, the barking, the chasing
up and back along the fence with the Macblue dogs – Barney, Max and
Kinnick plus 3 on the other side. Back and forth, back and forth.
Barney was especially spirited. The back neighbor dogs joined in. We
had dogs chasing everywhere. I finally got my dogs sort of under
control – Max and Kinnick trotted into the house, great but Barney was
another story. He was soooo exhausted, he would take a couple of steps
and then fall spread eagle in the grass, panting like a fool. I urged
him to come on, he got up, took a couple more steps and down he went
again. I was concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. He is
after all almost seven. I finally picked up the poor pug and carried
him into the house. Put him down in the kitchen to get a drink but he
just spread eagled again. All in all, it took Barney about half an hour
to recover. Poor thing. He indicated that he was appreciative of my
efforts.
10/28/2010
So those of you that have joined me at your wits end, you may want to
join me in the study of the art of solid waste elimination of canines.
It is rather intriguing. It is much more complex than you would think
at first blush. Canines usually follow a set protocol. There is sight
selection. Followed by the approach. Next comes the pose and then
elimination. Finally, there is the post elimination celebratory dance.
Each aspect of this artful activity varies widely from breed to breed
and actually from dog to dog of the same breed. No two dogs seem to
practice the same technique.
I really started looking into this
with the black pugs – Barney & Max. Barney being the studly manly
man of pugdom has chosen a very dignified upscale methodology. Barney
slowly paces along the back fence line, turns and paces back to the
beginning. This is repeated 4 or 5 times, each time quickening his pace
and shortening the distance. Sight selection concludes with the rear
descending downward followed by a series of circles for the approach.
Elimination is not noteworthy as one can imagine. Post elimination
celebration is classic bravado. Barney, in his studliest pose, flails
one leg at a time hurling divots of grass in the air. It is a sight to
behold. It intimidates other dogs I think.
Compare Barney’s
technique with that of Max. Max is far from studly. Max is a curious
dog who is all thumbs and extremely hyper-active. Max knows nothing of
finesse. He is all business. There are no rituals in sight selection.
The approach does not exist. Max is full bore until the very last
second. In that last second, Max stops, squats and eliminates. No
fuss, no muss, no pretense. However, Max does have a cute post
elimination dance. You see, he takes 3 steps as if shot out of a cannon,
stops, turns and returns to the sight to confirm what he suspected.
Yep, elimination complete – off he goes as though nothing happened.
Two pugs, both black and two totally different ways performing one of natures oldest activities. Interesting.
It
really is not a pretty thing when one reaches his wits end. I’m sorry
that I put you through this. Is there something beyond ones wits end?
11/2/2010
In my last blog I related to you how I was almost at my “wits end”.
Several people have asked me if when one is almost at “wits end” if that
is the same as being a “dim wit”? Guess I don’t know the answer to
that. This has also raised a concern on my part. I don’t know what
comes AFTER you reach your “wits end”. What is it, a black hole?
nothingness? winter? Just what does one face when you have reached
your “wits end”? I suppose I could become “witless” at that point. Any
ideas?
All of us at Grandpa Bailey’s Spoiled Dog Kennel and
Canasta Club were extremely excited yesterday. We received a postcard
from the Etavirp Canasta League ladies. They are on a bus tour of New
England, taking in all of the fall colors. They also planned on
stopping at several casinos along the way. Well it appears the ladies
have reached somewhere in Vermont finally. They alluded to spending a
lot of nickels and pennies at the slots at 8 casinos so far. Wanda is
the big winner so far. She has won so much they have to help her with
her purse because it is so heavy with nickels. She refuses to trade
them for bills. Go figure. Naomi had a problem with her walker. She
lost one of those rubber thingies on the bottom and went slightly out of
control spilling pennies all over the tile floor in the foyer of a
casino. They think they got most of them back and were able to get
another rubber thingie at a Walgreens. I noted that the card DID NOT
say “Wish you were here”. Hmmmm, so that is the way it is. We have no
idea when or if they will be returning. Keep checking back on that.
Debby,
the younger, is going to Denver to visit Jenny, the elder on Friday.
Guess what, the pugs are coming to the club. We will have Kinnick, the
lab and the 2 pugs all weekend – Oh Yeah! Waking hours are not bad, it
is the sleeping habits that are the problem. No one wants to share the
bed it seems. I am already getting into a mental state to try to
cope. Even purchased the LARGE can of French Roast knowing that I will
be consuming above average amounts to maintain some sanity.
I am
feeling that I really need to nail down this “wits end” thing before the
weekend. I have a hunch that I may be pushed beyond my “wits end” and
really need to know what I will be faced with. Thanks for your
thoughts, have a great day. Now for cup 2 of French Roast. TA!
11/8/2010
Sorry friends I have be remiss this past week posting new blogs. It
was just that I had a total meltdown after the elections. For some
reason I was exhausted. On Friday last, Barney & Max came for the
weekend. Sleeping arrangements didn’t work out very well this time.
For whatever reason, they became restless around 4:00 am. I was
unsuccessful getting them to return to bed. Therefore, Saturday was a
robotic day – just going through the motions. Saturday night, fall back
to standard time, sleeping was no better. Same type of routine.
Fortunately last night my current wife took Barney & Max to the
spare bedroom and slept with them, leaving me with Kinnick. Kinnick is
not a problem from a sleeping standpoint.
Yesterday, the dogs
broke out of the back yard. A sort of jail break I guess. I happened
to see the whole thing. A foo foo black poodle from across the street
stood taunting outside my temporary fence. Kinnick spied the interloper
and off he goes with Barney and Max close behind. It took Kinnick all
of 30 seconds to shred the fence, opening a gapping hole. I was in
pursuit, if you can call the slow motion jog of an old fart pursuit,
immediately. Kinnick veered off to the left behind the next door
neighbors house, Max chased the black poodle toward the street between
the houses, and Barney stayed behind. Barney had learned his lesson a
couple of years ago and when he almost got lost. Max fortunately
finally obeyed my frantic commands and flaying arms and returned.
Actually, I think he looked around to see that he was all alone in this
chase. That is not a situation Max likes. He is pure chicken in these
situations. Kinnick likewise returned to the confines of our yard. Max
and Kinnick had a sit down timeout as I proceeded to lecture them on
the errors of their ways. I patched up the temporary fence and all
settled down. I don’t know how effective the lecture was but it made me
feel better. Boy, that was a good time.
I had originally intended
on writing about immortality and reincarnation and so forth but just
can get into the flow. A good friend of ours passed away a couple of
days ago. It wasn’t unexpected but there is still a shock factor. It
reminded me of man’s mortality again. We all need to find a quiet time
to reflect on those things that truly matter. In the hustle bustle of
our lives, we tend to focus only on the superficial immediate daily
needs.
Of course, Grandpa Bailey’s Spoiled Dog Kennel and Canasta
Club will be closed for a couple of days in remembrance of our friend.
French Roast is gone for the day and so am I. TA!
11/12/2010
The Grandpa Bailey Spoiled Dog Kennel & Canasta Club has been in a
general funk lately. We got the elections over with finally. The Tea
Party candidates did well. A good friend has passed. We had a three
dog weekend and our clocks fell back an hour. If that wasn’t enough,
I’ve had to deal with the sign-up for Medicare and supplement
insurance.
I first had to educate myself on the whole subject of
Medicare. This proved to not be an easy task. I have the 2011
Medicare guide in hand, a ton of mailings from insurance companies, and a
mailing from my current wife’s company explaining the open enrollment
period and what they have to offer. I have been in the insurance
industry for over 25 years. I think I am fairly knowledgeable on
insurance but this stuff is a disaster. A sane individual can not
understand this Medicare stuff without having a advocate available. I
went to several meetings and made a dozen phone calls asking all sorts
of questions. The one thing I came away with was nearly every “expert”
has a different understanding of how Medicare works. Hence I am totally
confused. Frustrated I put it to bed today, selected the company plan,
completed the open enrollment, crossed my fingers and heaven help us.
By the way, I should be getting my free power chair shortly after the
first of the year. I will be the first one in the neighborhood. Cool!
We
have also been saddened with the news from the Etavirp Canasta Club
ladies. We have learned that the ladies have decided to continue their
casino hopping trip indefinitely. According to the son of the president
of the club, they have set a goal to visit EVERY casino in the
country. Over the past few days, I have called relatives of most of the
ladies trying to find out if this is true. Apparently, they were
having so much fun and winning enough to perpetuate the bus tour they
said what the heck. I don’t expect them to return anytime in the near
future. This has been devastating news to us here at the club. We have
missed having the ladies here plus the revenue stream has taken a
blow. My current wife, Sue, informed me that we will now remove any
mention of the Canasta Club from our name. From here on we will be
known as Grandpa Bailey’s Spoiled Dog Kennel.
MacB and I had an
impromptu neighborhood meeting the other day across the fence. MacB is
my neighbor. In about 20 minutes we solved almost every problem facing
our city and state. Truly amazing how easy it was. I drafted a report
detailing our solutions and advanced them to our city and state
leaders. I told MacB that I was kind of surprised we haven’t heard back
from anyone yet. I hope it didn’t get lost.
11/18/2010
Since the demise of the Canasta Club, I have been trying to get
something to replace it. The leagues fees really helped the cash flow.
I have looked at a dog workout club featuring doggie palates. I looked
at beginning a mobile pooper scooper service. I looked at several
other service related opportunities but in the final analysis nothing
was a lucrative as seniors leagues. I already knew that another Canasta
Club was out since there was enough interest. I contacted the ladies
of the Etavirp Club who were in Vermont. I tried to lure them back
offering all sorts of incentives. I was told in no uncertain
words to leave them alone. Their American tour of casinos has come to
an end already she told me. They did so well at the slots in the
northeast US that they had accumulated enough funds to purchase their
own casino. I can't even come close to matching that. With this I have
settled on organizing a domino league for seniors over 70 years. This
will be coed. US Domino Association certified dominoes will be provided
along with unlimited nachos/dip and Maalox upon request. Valet walker
parking is available. Canes, coats, boots and hats may be checked at
the door. League rules are in the process of being drafted. This will
be a 5 star league and the only one in the area. I'm really excited
withs the prospects.
12/11/2010
Good 'ol Iowa winter weekend - rain turning to snow on Saturday;
blizzard conditions and bitter cold on Sunday. Pretty typical December
weekend. Yuk!
We have been busy this week at Grandpa
Bailey's Spoiled Dog Kennel. We have had a full house of dogs with
Barney, Max and Kinnick. They have been good overall but do require a
good amount of time. We also were planning the Christmas Party. The
party was last night. It seemed to be a good date since everyone was
going to be here and it was next to the last night. Barney and Max leave
on Sunday.
All week, Barney and Max have found a
sleeping buddy with my current wife. She seems to get along with them a
lot better than me. I tend to toss and turn which can't happen when
those two have you pinned in bed. She doesn't move much so doesn't feel
confined like me. Everyone has fallen into a morning routine. Kinnick
wakes me and requires his 15 minutes of tummy rubs and stretches.
Next, we get up and let Barney out of his room. I get the French Roast
brewing, the two boys go out for a morning pee. I serve up their
breakfast at which time Max joins us to eat. Barney and Max go back to
bed for another hour or so. Kinnick hits the couch and I read the
paper. Pretty darn boring routine, don't you think.
I
brought up the Christmas decorations from the basement. All of the boys
pitched in to help with the decorating. Kinnick helped hang the
stockings over the fireplace. Barney helped move the snack bowl to make
room for the Christmas tree. I think he had a few samples in the
process. Max tried to help with the tree decorations but just couldn't
get the hang of it. He had trouble grabbing them since he doesn't have a
wee wee toe. He gave me some good advice about where to hang things
though. Everything was in place for last night's party.
Last
night we started the evening with cocktails and a social hour. The
pugs played tug of war with their monkey stuffy. They ran all over the
house having a raucous good time. Kinnick kept teasing me with his
rope. We tugged and pulled. He would tease me with the rope, then run
away with a twinkle in his eye. We sat down to a buffet. The pugs had a
bowl of lamb & rice nuggets; Kinnick chose the Big Dog mix with
calcium. Fresh bowls of water were supplied and they partook
frequently.
After the meal, we gathered in the family
room. I played some traditional Christmas songs. We all joined in
singing/howling. The pugs and Kinnick make a pretty good trio. In
front of the fireplace, we gathered in a circle to play a couple of
games. First, we played the right/left game. You are probably familiar
with this game. Someone reads a story which contains several uses of
the words "right" and "left". Each of us has a gift. Every time one of
those words is spoken, a gift is passed the direction stated. Well,
let's just say that things got rather chaotic. We had gifts going every
direction, a few of them had bite marks on them. When done, we opened
the gifts. Some were forgettable, some were real keepers.
Next
we played "Dirty Santa". In this game, the gifts are put in the middle
of the group. Each member draws a number which is his playing order in
the game. Number one picks a gift, opens it and shows it to everyone.
Number two has the choice of taking Number One's gift or picking a new
one from the pile. Number 1 would then select another gift. And so it
goes. It can get down right "dirty". My current wife, Sue, was number
one. She got a bag of rawhide chews. Kinnick was number 2. Of course,
he took the rawhide chews. Sue picked another gift which turned out to
be a poop bags. Max was number 3. He took a gift which turned out to
be a cute little squirrel stuffy. That caught Barney's eye. I was
number 4 and took a gift. It was a small flashlight. Barney was last,
he took the stuffy from Max. Max opened a gift. It was a rawhide bone
which he was happy with. Finally, my current wife, being number one,
decided that she would like my flashlight. She gladly gave me the poop
bags with instructions on using them in the morning. Jackpot - poop
bags! Yeah, boy do I like this game or what? Winners and losers - you
can decide
We ended the evening with puppy ice cream treats and eggnog.
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